I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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