I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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