the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
