did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This baby is an asshole
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
