I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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