why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
