i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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