So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
