while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You left your phone here
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