But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
