Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
