White coat. Heels.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
