Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
