Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
