Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
