U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
