glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
