tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We named our party play list daddy issues
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
