When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
