Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this boner is exhausting
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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