And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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