Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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