she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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