wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
