i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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