STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
