You can't motorboat a personality
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
