Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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