very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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