I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
