Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
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