youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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