GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
