White coat. Heels.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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