found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
