Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
