Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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