no, he came in my armpit
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
