hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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