CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
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Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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