He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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