on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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