I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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