Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
