did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
