Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
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I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
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there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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