I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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