She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
