She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
