Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
