he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
