Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
there is puke in my bra ... again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
