Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
