Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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