the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's never too late to be topless.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
