He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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