is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
