i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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