so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
