Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
