party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
