Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
