he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
