anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
