Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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