i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
