can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
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Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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