summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
